Love Gauge

Everything was peaceful. The sun was about to set, and the evening’s gentle wind made the sweltering summer’s ire calm down for a moment. I glanced at my brother Edwin, who was doing completely nothing at all with his translucent love gauge slightly above his left shoulder, its needle hovering at 0. On the rug was Ray B.T., which was our family beagle ever since I could remember, looking intently at me with his big, round eyes as if he needed something awfully bad.

Knowing what that look meant, I took Edwin’s hand and lead him to the front door. Ray leapt from his seat on the rug, leaving one part of the rug squashed as if to indicate his space to everybody, although Edwin and I are just about the only people living in this house. And the only person that has enough love to give away is, sadly, me. I’ve never seen Edwin’s L-G needle go over 5 of the 100 dense markings on the small machinery, and so is our parents, though we hardly get to see them for longer than a minute.

Thinking about this left me somehow drained, but being aware of the continuous nudge from Ray, I opened the door, letting out his super thrilled legs already sprinting here and there. I followed him leisurely, knowing that he would bark greetings to our next house’s dog, and also the one on the right, and the one on the other side, and so on.

“C’mon, Edwin! Don’t just stand there like a lifeless statue!”

Edwin gradually lumbers over to me, and I hold his hand. Even though I constantly inform myself over and over that Edwin’s lack of love is not his fault, I can’t help letting out a sigh as I glimpse at his unmoving needle. We take a thorough walk around our town, thanks to Ray, and when we finally reach home, even Edwin seems worn-out.

After taking a refreshing bath, I feel relieved as I see Edwin’s needle shift slightly clockwise, while Ray flops down on his seat on the rug and immediately starts dozing. I take a seat on the sofa, drawing Edwin next to me, and switch on the TV. Of course, I already know what I will see on TV, but it is a helpful tool to me by making Edwin concentrate on something.

As the TV comes to life, I see the familiar faces of the high-ranking officials helping the poor, providing them food and water, their L-G needles at the end of the markings. The so-called ‘TV show’ goes on for about an hour, while I give up, as usual, on trying to see at least one of the official’s needle budge from 100. The program gradually comes to an end as the cheerful laughter of the officials and the poor fade away. Big, red letters fill up the screen that reminds us every day, sticking on our brains like a gum stuck on a shoe, to ‘LOVE ALWAYS.’

Despite the fact that looking at all the gratifying volunteer work the officials appear to do so frequently has become just a part of my daily life, I couldn’t help questioning myself, “How could the L-G needles of the officials so firmly remain on 100?” I didn’t realize I had let my thoughts emerge from my lips until I saw Edwin nodding, surprisingly looking thoughtful at the moment. On the other hand, Ray just wags his tail left to right, staring at me with a hint of curiousness in his round eyes. “I wonder if the love gauges could be fabricated…” I let my quiet murmur spread out and dissolve into the pitch dark night air.

I awake with a start. Not knowing what had interrupted my sleep, I look around and find Edwin curled up on the sofa next to me, sleeping soundly. As I stumble onto my feet, trying to get a blanket for him, I could catch a faint jingling sound of keys together at the front door. My brain functioned hard to clear my muddled thoughts of sleep, and I was aware of all the blood in my face evaporating as my face went pale.

“Edwin? Edwin, wake up!”

I try my best to lower my voice as I shake Edwin in desperate moves to wake him up, but I could now hear hushed voices of men, which made my voice quaver in fear. Edwin opened his eyes slowly, rubbing sleep out of his eyelids.

“Edwin, there are people at the front door, and I think they also have the right keys to it. I don’t know why, but don’t be scared and let’s just-”

There was a slight ‘click’ sound of a well-matched lock and key, permitting a second of absolute silence. And they were inside the house, about four or five of them, bursting through the front door. They looked like cops with their faces concealed inside dark police helmets, but there was an inhumane aura around them, their love gauges strangely darkened, and the needles in it were unmoving, solidly on 0.

Startlingly, there was Ray next to them, and I become afraid that he might be wounded by the dark men, now standing in front of me and Edwin. Ray barks at me and Edwin, and I let out a piercing scream as the men start moving toward us. As I scream in terror and panic, one man heads for me with his arms out.

All of a sudden, Edwin is in front of me, biting and kicking the man who was determined to catch me, and I stare, still screaming, at the bewildering sight of my brother so desperate. Suddenly, he whips around, looks at me straight in the eye, and shouts.

“EDEL, RUN!!”

While I stop screaming in shock at hearing my name from him, images of Edwin and me flutter around in my panicking brain, and all the pain I felt because of his absence for love conquers my body. In an instant, I dart out the nearest window, tumbling on the thickets growing next to our house, their sharp branches scraping my arms and legs, allowing them to bleed freely. I feel adrenaline pumping through my veins everywhere, and I think, frantically, on where to take cover.

HOUSE! Somewhere in my brain cried out. I panicked. ‘House? Am I going crazy?’ Then again, I hear an agonizing cry of pain and men’s rushed footsteps from inside the house,. An image flash by my mind, and I sprint for my life, to the back of the house, where a small entry awaits undisturbed. I think for a slight second of how I’d used to enter this door when I was very young, trying to have fun with Edwin by playing hide-and-seek, though he never attempted to seek me at all, which always left me crying in resentment.

Now I dash through that door, closing the exit as softly as I can, with the sound of my heart pounding loudly in my ears. I catch my breath with my hands thrown over my mouth with my shoulders going up and down, trying hard to not let any sound given away. As my breathing return to normal, I look around the cramped space where sticks, seeming like brooms and mops, lay sprawled on the floor.

Memories from my childhood try to rule my head once again, but the sound of a door being roughly banged open brings me back to reality. I think of Edwin, of how he wasn’t even completely awake when the men turned up, of how he shouted at me with his eyes wide to run, and…

I bury my head in my knees as tears flow down my face uncontrollably, my head filled with the vivid scene when Edwin had told me to run. Edwin’s love gauge from that moment widens in my head, and I’m able to see his needle that always remained on the left side, now unbelievably on the right side, near the end of the markings. Hatred for myself engulfs me in fierce waves, and I sob at my selfishness and guiltiness for Edwin’s sacrifice.

At that time, a familiar sniffing sound at the door interrupts my suffering. I raise my head to let in Ray, relieved that he sounded unharmed, when two sounds immobilizes my body altogether.

A throaty laugh passes through the thick mask and speaks,

“Good boy, Ray. Good boy.”

And a sound of a dog barking dutifully is heard right after.

The sun arose tranquilly the next day, and everything was peaceful.

#soheekim #fiction